3 YEARS

Today marks 3 years since I have been ordained as a pastor.
3 years ago today, I stood before God and family and friends and made vows of a lifetime.
3 years ago today, I had NO CLUE the road I was about to travel, the sacred ground I was being called to.

In the last 3 years I have:

• doubted repeatedly
• been invited into some of the scariest and most exciting times in people's lives
• affirmed my baptismal vocation to word and sacrament
• held a newborn baby only hours old
• baptized many babies and a few older folks
• have felt totally and completely clueless
• presided over the Lord's Supper several times a month
• led funeral services for many faithful saints
• questioned what I was doing daily
• met more amazing people than I ever could have imagined

It has been quite the journey, this past synod assembly I sat in awe as they handed out the certificates for those who have been in ordained ministry for 35, 50, 60, and 70 years. I wondered about the stories they could tell, the sacred ground they have walked on, the wisdom they have gained, and the questions they have asked. I laughed as I thought about how God calls people into full time ministry and how clueless we sometimes feel, and the ways in which the Holy Spirit continues to affirm my call and walk alongside me - thanks be to God for the patient people who continue to teach me what it means to be a pastor and continue to affirm me where I am.

There are moments in which it is tempting to give it all up and go with a more "traditional" job, but for the most part I look forward to this coming year and to see what God is up to.

St. Louis

Generally when I travel for work, I travel with copious amounts of kids and youth ranging from kindergarten through college age with some other adults helping me out. Usually, on these trips we: sleep on church floors, at summer camps, in tents, on gym floors, or in some other makeshift sleeping quarters, wrapped in our beloved sleeping bags and on our thermarests. However, once a year, I attend what is known as the Extravaganza, which is held in a wonderful hotel, usually (not this year) in a warm location. Every third year it is held wherever the National Youth Gathering, is held, so that we can do some prescouting, make dinner reservations, and figure out where we are going and what we are doing before we are like ducks with our 40 or so ducklings following close behind. We attend sessions, worship, pray, network, collaborate, meet up with colleagues, brainstorm, and enjoy whatever city we are in.
Most recently (as many of you probably saw on my instagram or my twitter feed) we were in St. Louis, and had a marvelous time. We went to the art museum, toured Budweiser (I can't believe how BIG those horses are, I am on the far left of the picture and nearly 6 foot tall), we saw the arch, and we went to the most beautiful cathedral, Cathedral Basilica. GORGEOUS - if you are ever in St. Louis go see this place. Of course we also ate some delightful food and explored other aspects of the city, this was just a few of the highlights.

Have you ever been to St. Louis?
What is your favorite city to be a tourist in?

History was made.......

Yesterday, Wednesday August 14, come and went. For most people I imagine they woke up in the morning and went about their normal routine oblivious to what was happening in Pittsburgh. Tuesday came and went. For some gathered in Pittsburgh as representatives, as delegates for a nearly 4 million Lutherans (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America), to discern what the Holy Spirit is up to today. As they gathered they made decisions about all sorts of thing: they met to talk about how we are going to walk with global ministry partners, talk about our relationship with other denominations, about how to support nontraditional families, and so much more. History was made when it came time to vote for our presiding Bishop.

As we came to the fifth vote and it was apparent that history was going to be made, either we were going to elect Bishop Hanson for his third six year term or a female was going to become presiding bishop for the first time in our church's history. After prayerful discernment of the delegates, with more online viewers than actual assembly attendants watching on, as twitter feeds go wild, and as prayers flooded the heavens Elizabeth Eaton was elected presiding bishop of the ELCA.

I rejoiced and continue to rejoice that the church I serve has not placed a cap on what someone can do based off of gender. I have no, desire at this point in life, to ever be bishop, even a synodical bishop, however, I rejoice that we are not limiting how far the Holy Spirit can be leading someone.

Ever since I was an infant women have been ordained into word and sacrament, I have known nothing else. I have only heard the path that some have paved for those of us who have followed suit, I have heard of the first women who were ordained, I have heard their stories, and I give thanks for them. While I still from time or time will hear a comment about being a female pastor, for the most part I get along without much grief. In all honesty, I get more grief about my age rather than my gender.

Today I pray, I pray for bishop elect Elizabeth Eaton, while we have no idea how her term of service will go I have hope. I have hope for the ways in which God is moving and the ways in which our church is open to change and continually being made new. Thanks be to God for continuing to work in and through all of creation.

While for many this means little, for many this means a lot, history has been made.
Thanks Bishop Hanson for 12 years of faithful service as presiding bishop, for your love of God's people, and your willingness to lead in the midst of hard times in the church. I give God thanks and praise for you (and your family who has shared you with the church).

pressure to be epic.

The title of this post is because for some reason once I haven't blogged in a while I feel some strange internal pressure that the next blog must be AWESOME, which really, I am not sure where this pressure comes from but it exists inside of me, so don't expect epicness in this post, rather it will be ramblings.

The last month has been NUTS to say the least, but wonderfully nuts! I just returned from the National Youth Gathering with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America - I traveled with the Northeastern Minnesota synod (550 of us), 21 from the congregation I serve. The 11 day trip came with lots of challenges, fun, and ways in which God met us along the path. It was marvelous. At the beginning of the month I got to stand next to my best friend as she got married back in South Dakota. Wonderfullness abounds.

July's Yay God moments:
-Marc got a new job!
-Katie and Andy got married
-The Synod Journey -ELCA National Youth Gathering
-several trips out kayaking
-a fixed sump pump and sewage drain (the broke sump pump and sewage backing up into my basement was less than fun - but now that the problem is remedied it is nice to not have to worry about them)
-sleep - I was long over due for some good sleep
-planning season - now that some things have come to an end it is time to ramp up the planning for next school year and summer - never a dull moment in ministry
-my closet remodel (sounds lame but trust me the closet needed finishing) is done (just need to hang a set of shelves)
-my family and friends who have helped me keep my sanity during this all
-yarn - one can never have enough yarn while going on 26 hour bus trips (one way)


Dear Sarah,
    You now have broke your blogging silence feel free to go crazy and blog away - no pressure now, the lame post is over.
Love, me

The Chaos in my world

Here is a video glimpse into what my world is like at moments, the video is of Dakota & Nala playing. I have my brother's dog, Nala, while he is out east interning for the FDA. Normally the dogs are amazing but sometimes they go crazy in turn driving me crazy.
I am prepping to leave for the Synod Journey to the ELCA National Youth Gathering tomorrow and know I will miss my sweet puppy like crazy!

Exhausted

It has been one of those months in which all I can fathom at the moment is sleeping. This is Dakota and I last night after a long day. My mom caught this picture for me, we both managed to fall asleep on the couch all snuggled up, we were watching something on tv with mom, but you can tell Dakota and my opinion on it. Life has been going full speed lately!

Major house project: my mom came up and we have been painting my kitchen cupboards, I absolutely can't wait to post pictures when it is all finished. It looks 1000 times better than it did before. I had some gross old cupboards which functionally worked great but in terms of looks it was bad. I will post pictures when we are done and attempt to explain the process.

Major travels: I just got back this past week from a nearly week long trip to New Orleans to the youth Extravaganza! It was an outstanding trip, fabulous speakers, wonderful friends, amazing city. It was great!

YAY HATS.

Molita & Sarah with the hats we made.

     Yesterday Molita and I were able to give these 24 hats to a woman at our church to donate to a local hospital. It has been a fun project for the two of us to work on and think about all the newborn babies who will get to wear the hats. And just to be completely honest it has been a wonderful project to work on during the last semester of our senior year. There was instant gratification of seeing a complete project, while we have so many unknowns and things that are left unfinished (trying to figure out what next year will hold).
     The woman at our church was surprised to see how many hats we had made, we had told her that we had made a bunch of hats and she told us that she thought there would be six or eight and then we dumped a pile on her. It was fabulous. I am proud to be active and worshiping at St. John's in St. Donatus. For a smaller church they sure do care about the community and world around them. I am thankful for the ways that the people of St. John's have taken in so many of us seminarians.
     What are you or the congregation that you are active in doing to help serve the community in which you live? I love hearing ways in which people are serving their community and God is moving in and through people to care for the world around them.

Yesterday

     Yesterday was one of those days that, as seminarians, we have dreamt about since before we even begin seminary. It was reading and research days here on campus and I stuck around campus for the break. The day was as normal as an empty day on campus could be. Most milestones here on campus are marked by: the community gathering, the community upholding in prayer, the community worshipping, and the community rallying around the days events. This one however was semi-unexpected and as I walked down to my mailbox I had no idea what I was going to find. I got to my mailbox and did the normal, squat down and was excited to see that there was something in my box, I am semi-convinced that my mailbox is a black hole for what can feel like weeks at a time.

     I spin my lock to open the box and naturally couldn’t get it to open, so I tried again (3 times) and finally opened my mailbox. I was expecting to find a letter from my mom, my grandma, or another loved one, I could see that it was a larger envelope (the kind that holds a full sheet of paper) and so I was trying to think through what my mom may have mailed me that she wouldn’t have wanted to bend. When I looked at the envelope I realized that it had come from the Northeastern Minnesota synod! I was surprised and anxiously opened the envelop there standing in the hallway, not a person in sight and no one could be heard.

     As I opened my envelope I found a letter from one of the assistants to the bishop describing a bit of what I would find behind the letter, A CONGREGATION’S PAPERWORK! The moment was surreal, I couldn’t believe what I was holding in my hand. A congregation’s paperwork describing themselves and a little bit about what they are looking for in a pastor. The assistant to the bishop has sent my name and paperwork to them and their paperwork to me?! This is a step in the direction of taking a first call.

     I realize that just because this is the first set of paperwork that I have gotten it does not mean that it is the call I will take, but it is still something to discern. I must discern, the congregation must discern, and together we will see what God is calling us to do. Is God calling us to journey together or is God calling another to live and serve amongst these people and calling me elsewhere? Time will tell.

     While this doesn’t really seem like a very big milestone it was one that caught me a little off guard, while I knew the paperwork might be on its way, it was still a surreal experience. It is hard to believe that while I look forward to graduating, it is a little strange to think that my classmates and I are now the candidates being sent out to congregations all across the United States. I am excited at the ways the Spirit is moving and calling us and meets us in all the unknowns that are before us. I am nervous and unsure at the same time. I trust the Spirit’s moving and guiding, knowing that the Spirit is everywhere and I am being called to live alongside God’s people in a new place, and the Spirit is already there working and moving, and will be there while I am there, and will remain when I am called elsewhere. God is present, God is moving, and it is humbling to see the ways God is moving and that God is in fact calling me to love and serve a particular congregation.

    Well its official. I have been assigned to the Northeastern Minnesota synod and it comes by complete surprise. I was under the impression (as were several of my friends who had been assigned to region 3) that eastern Minnesota was not taking any candidates due to a lack of openings. This must not be true, due to being called there. I will also admit that a piece of my heart had committed to either the western side of Minnesota or one of the North Dakota synods or even South Dakota. These preferences were mostly based on the high number of my friends and family in this area. Although I a not opposed to Northeastern Minnesota by any means.
    My synodical assignment comes with mix emotions and feelings (which is true of pretty much everyone who is assigned). I am excited to explore and learn a new area. I am excited by the prospect of living near a lake (I love being out on a lake). I am excited about first call and the ways in which the Holy Spirit moves and works in all people. I am nervous because I am a native South Dakotan who LOVES to see my horizons, NE Minnesota has a lot of trees and while I enjoy camping for a weekend in such locations I have never fathomed living there. It'll be interesting. I am also a little bit sad that I don't have any friends already up in that area and that none of my classmates were assigned to that same synod. I am a little saddened by the distance from my family and many of my friends. In my heart of hearts I was hoping to be close enough to one of my relatives so that I could drive to them on major holidays, while I greatly appreciate people who on internship invited me into their homes for holidays, it isn't the same as being with family, being a guest during holidays is hard for me. I know I will need to develop new traditions and figure out what it means to celebrate the holidays as a single female living in Northeastern Minnesota.
    I trust the Bishop has something in mind for me or knows of some calls opening up. I am anxious to talk to him or one of his assistants. I have my fingers crossed I'll hear from someone this week to let me know what to expect and can maybe grant me a glimpse into what the future may hold.
    "Lord God, you have called your servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown. Give us faith to go out with good courage, not knowing where we go, but only that your hand is leading us and you love supporting us; through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen." (One of my favorite prayers out of the ELW)

Excitement & Bitter-Sweet

I am really really excited about the recent regional placements! It feels like it is long over due on one hand and on the other it seems like only yesterday that we were summer greekers. This picture is the epitome of bitter-sweet. I am way jazzed that my friend Matthew (pictured) and I both got assignments and that Bishops in our respective regions asked for us to be placed in their regions, I am NOT excited that our regions are not the same nor near one another. I will miss my classmates who have become like family. I will miss seeing them on the day in and day out. I rejoice that some classmates are assigned to the same region as me and that I will join a region with many WTSers. Plus there will be lots of folks to meet in the next stage of life. 

I continue to wait for a Bishop to call. I am told that the region 3 Bishops are meeting Thursday morning and can call us as soon as their meeting is over, although they may not have time to call for a few days. So I wait, with excitement, praying, hoping, and dreaming.

Region!!!

I am headed to region 3!!! The ELCA draft was held the past two days and I found out last night that I am off to region 3, I am excited and nervous and anxious to hear synod assignments. Those of us assigned to region three are suppose to hear on March 3rd or shortly after what synod I am assigned to. I am really a senior and really graduating!!!!