May Photo Dump

3 YEARS

Today marks 3 years since I have been ordained as a pastor.
3 years ago today, I stood before God and family and friends and made vows of a lifetime.
3 years ago today, I had NO CLUE the road I was about to travel, the sacred ground I was being called to.

In the last 3 years I have:

• doubted repeatedly
• been invited into some of the scariest and most exciting times in people's lives
• affirmed my baptismal vocation to word and sacrament
• held a newborn baby only hours old
• baptized many babies and a few older folks
• have felt totally and completely clueless
• presided over the Lord's Supper several times a month
• led funeral services for many faithful saints
• questioned what I was doing daily
• met more amazing people than I ever could have imagined

It has been quite the journey, this past synod assembly I sat in awe as they handed out the certificates for those who have been in ordained ministry for 35, 50, 60, and 70 years. I wondered about the stories they could tell, the sacred ground they have walked on, the wisdom they have gained, and the questions they have asked. I laughed as I thought about how God calls people into full time ministry and how clueless we sometimes feel, and the ways in which the Holy Spirit continues to affirm my call and walk alongside me - thanks be to God for the patient people who continue to teach me what it means to be a pastor and continue to affirm me where I am.

There are moments in which it is tempting to give it all up and go with a more "traditional" job, but for the most part I look forward to this coming year and to see what God is up to.

Strange Time In LIfe

This time of year always seems a bit strange to me.

I am wrapping up a TON of school year ministry type stuff and I am preparing for a TON of summer ministries, and this year gets even stranger as I am also beginning to work on plans for while I will be gone next fall. I am living in a state of already and not yet for sure.

Summer is closer than I care to imagine.
     Now if only Mother Nature would catch on as well.

I grieve the end of every school year because the kids are always soo marvelous, however it is ALWAYS time for the year to end and for the kids to move on to the next year.

I grieve knowing I won't be at the start of next school year, despite I know how wonderful it will be to have time at home with baby.

It is strange to think through the start of maternity leave and questions fill my head:

• Where will we worship?
• Do I come back to "work" to worship? It is the only worshipping community I know here in town - however, I don't want to be drawn to actually work, rather I want to enjoy the chance to worship with my husband (seriously this never happens - I think we can count on less than one hand the number of times we have sat in the pews together to worship) and a new babe in arms.
• Do we jump from church to church here in town and explore what others are doing?


• The details that I need to leave for the multitude of people (seriously thankful for these folks) who will be covering for me while I am gone
• The plans and the back up plans - the plans for if I go early and the plans for if I go late (seriously, nearly banking on going late)
• I literally have started a binder of information for people who are covering for me while I am gone - does it seem semi excessive - yes, however, I don't know how else to keep everything organized for them and accessible
• Not to also forget that I have stacks of postcard reminders that need to be sent on certain days that are already printed and just have a date to be mailed on/by
• Also mission trips to be signed up for, paperwork to be collected, information to be processed and registrations to be mailed
• Confirmation will also happen 
• which I am coming back for (at least for that Sunday, I can't walk with these kids for 3 years, to sit at someone else's confirmation two blocks down the street - it would kill me just about as much as some of them would be disappointed)
• There are moments in which it almost seems like more work to be gone than to be here

meanwhile - my head also spins with the reality that soonish (less than 100 days from now there will be a baby that I am charged to take care of...

Yes, I know it will all be fine. For some reason crossing under the 100 day mark for one reason or another on top of registering, on top of Marc pushing to start working on the nursery, this sweet baby is becoming more and more real (not that I didn't think it was real before, however, as my belly expands the reality becomes more real for me).

In completely unrelated things: our chickens are growing like crazy and as soon as Mother Nature plays along they are moving outside to their coop (currently the evening temps are just a little lower than I would care for them to be for the current size, however they have grown a TON). I hope to get some new pictures of them this weekend on one of my real cameras, these are just some photos from my iphone (which does take decent pictures but not awesome ones) from the other night when we were playing with the chickens in the basement (yes, they still live in the baby pool in our basement). Dakota remains fascinated by them but has not even come mildly close to them, I think she has a slight dose of fear of them (of which I have zero intent of helping her overcome).



Dear Mother Nature,
    Please send spring or even skip us to summer, or at least send the sunshine.
Love, northern Minnesota (and probably many more places)

Eleven Months as a MRS

The Wonderful Things:

• We still have chicks alive
• these little chicks were a random thing that we thought we'd try, but somehow we have managed to keep them alive
• They are still living in our basement in a kiddie pool surrounded by chicken wire because mother nature apparently doesn't care that we have a beautiful chicken coop outside just waiting for it's inhabitants
• They are growing like CRAZY - and next to impossible to get photos of - I am hoping once they move outside it will be easier - or really I hope they quit being so crazy pants in their kiddie pool so I can take pictures that I actually want to post
• Marc rocks at putting in flooring
• he has been working hard (I have been attempting to help)
• he has the flooring down in the two basement bedrooms
• Our basement may actually be semi livable by August
• Our next step is to get the electrician back in to finish up the electrical work, we plan on having that done here shortly - we need to move some stuff out of the closet so they can access the light that goes in there - and it would be helpful if Mother Nature would play nice so we can get the chickens outside and out of what will be the 3rd bathroom
• We continue to work on the flooring in the main room and hallway

Marc and I downstairs working on the flooring
He's a champ for putting up with 12,001 photos

The Things No One Ever Tells You About:

• Medical insurance is ridiculous to navigate - why can't people just tell me the answers I am looking for or explain to me in terms that I would understand 
• WHY does this need to be this complicated?!
• Winter sucks when it drags on through the end of April. 
• We have read every book on our winter reading list, we have watched every movie on our winter watch list, we have watched more stupid movies that we didn't care to watch, and we have read more stupid books that we didn't want to read - we want to be outside and we are going stir crazy
• Winter eats at our souls after a while

The Miscellaneous Things:

• I can't believe it is May and summer is around the corner
• on the same token I can't believe we have been married for 11 months already and only 11 months already
• I AM WAYYYY happy to not be planning a wedding again this summer
• The wedding itself was fun - the planning of it was fine (Thank God for my mom and brother who deeply care about details of weddings and things) - I am glad it is over
• I AM over crappy weather, bring on spring. 
• I went for a few days down to IOWA a connecting state to Minnesota and it was 50 degrees warmer and they have green grass! Trust me I have been questioning why we live so stinking far north. I want spring/summer. Mother Nature needs to get the memo.

Wedding Photo Album

Click here to view this photo book larger

IT IS FINISHED.

This past weekend I successfully managed to catch up on our wedding photo album. This task for some reason was OVER THE TOP ridiculous for me to get finished. The photos came from a number of places: the two photographers who took legit pictures, the point & shoot I carried in my pocket, and a number of family and friend's camera, the picture quality varied.

I am THRILLED to be done with this book. Now to wait for a sweet sale and free shipping to get it ordered and in my hands to look through.

I LOVE shutterfly and creating photobooks.

Uncertainty abounds....

Never in my life have I felt more uncertain about what I am doing. SERIOUSLY.

Just the other day after several run ins with church ladies (they are a breed of their own, granted a beloved breed, which you have to love and adore, not to mention I am fairly certain the world is upheld on the prayers of church ladies - yes, there are some theological holes in that argument but bear with me and it's my blog so I can say as I want) telling me what day they were having a baby shower for us (for which I am REALLY thankful since I have bought hardly anything for said baby and we have been focusing on our basement) and having to barter back and forth to get them to realize that if I am not in town (out on a mission trip, on an overnight retreat with kids, or at camp for the week) I cannot attend a baby shower, even if it is my own - they have set a date that will work for a shower. ANNNDDD they gave us a deadline to go register for baby.

Soooo Marc and I walked into the store to just begin to look around - I have been doing a little (emphasis on the word little) research on baby gear/stuff/whatnot and I have some AMAZING friends (seriously, I feel bad for the rest of the world because you all don't have my friends) who have been more than willing to offer advice. So we walked in, we signed up to get a registry (which was quite the fiasco when the system went down and that there already is someone with my exact name registered who is not me and the system taking two of the same name and blah blah blah), they handed us the magical wish list gun (which worked part of the time at best) and we were off - to go walk isle by isle through the baby stuff - semi hoping we wouldn't run into anyone we knew as we were debating what on God's green earth we were suppose to be scanning.

My husband and I found ourselves in two separate places, Marc, loved to scan things - because it was fun. I found myself wrestling with questions like:

• Why do babies need so much stuff?
• Do we REALLY need this?
• Yes, I know some things will in fact be nice to have
• Yes, I know we do need some things
• Does EVERYTHING have to make noise?
• Really I want a huge collection of books for baby
• I want toys that don't have to be plugged in or require 18 size D batteries
• Why is everything pink or blue?
• Do people realize there are billions of colors out there - everything baby related doesn't have to be pink or blue?
• Why do girls only get pink?
• Why do boys only get blue?
• Why always pastels?
• Why is anything that is semi neutral colored yellow and covered in ducks?
• Generations have survived without some of these things - why are they all of a sudden necessary?
• How can I further purge stuff we have in our house because apparently our kid is going to have a ton of stuff? 
• Remind myself never to move again
• Also remind me to clean out and purge stuff as we no longer need them
• Yes, I know I can't get rid of stuff right away (there maybe other children down the road - no promises on birthing them myself but we could adopt - or I could forget how awful I have felt 99% of the time I have been pregnant)

The list went on and on and on. I also found myself more and more thankful for the generations of people before me who survived and managed to keep babies alive despite millions of recalls on products (we were looking up stuff online as we were standing in the store - the internet can be a black hole of information as to what is best). I was thankful for the group of people who are already showering our baby with love and prayers and who are anxious for baby to arrive so that they can hold baby, love on baby, and accompany baby (and Marc and I) through this new path we are on.

We know we still need to edit our list some. The scanner went crappy and we were overwhelmed and drove down the street to get ice cream before heading home. We know there are things on there we can probably take off as soon as we confirm that we are getting a couple things handed down to us (we don't need everything new). We know there are probably things we should add that we just didn't think of - we will get to it, in time.

For now, we are overwhelmed at best. I seriously sent this text to my mother "I have never felt more unprepared or uncertain of what the heck I am doing then while we were just registering for baby stuff and we had no clue where to start or what we will need" as we pulled out of the store. It was true in that moment. Since then, I have calmed down a bit, still totally freaked out and jazzed beyond my wildest imagination - According to the app on my phone - today marks 93 days until baby's due date (yes, I realize it could be earlier than that or it could be weeks later - however, we are 93 days until due date). Also I included a picture of our ridiculously happy puppy who has no clue what is about to rock her world. She always will be my first baby.

Wartburg Retread

It has been nearly 3 years since I have graduated from seminary.

It has been nearly 3 years since we were sent out from Wartburg, ordained as pastors, and placed into congregations.

It is the tradition at Wartburg Seminary that nearish your 3 year mark your class returns to "retread."

We had a marvelous time. I AM SOOO thankful that many of my dear friends and I were able to get together, to snuggle the babies that have been born since we left, catch up on life, and be together once again. There was a sense of going home for sure.



Those few days were good for my soul.

I wish I had taken more photos - I feel like I often say that however, I was consumed in just being with friends.

We did have to take a few "classes" while we were there, they were pretty low key, but we did take a few, conversation was good. I am thankful to no longer be bogged down by classes that is for certain.

Who knew going to a neighboring state would find me in beautiful 75 degree weather and sitting on green grass.... talking about having a debate as to why we live so far north. It was beautiful weather and from the time we left Iowa till we pulled up and into my northern Minnesota drive way 50 degrees had dropped. Mother Nature is cruel indeed.

I wish I knew when we'd all be together again or at least those who I hold nearest and dearest to my heart. We have already begun talks of where we will meet again and when - we are thinking that we won't be at WTS but rather somewhere fun somewhere random for us all. We have debated our options - perhaps a camp or a fun place. Hopefully we can commit to doing it and get it on all of our already way too busy calendars.