Yes, it is true we love you November through about mid-March, now that it is the end of April and you are continuing to drop snow on us, you annoy us! Yes, we know we live in the Midwest and that you do like to stay around for longer than we'd want but you have seriously broken every agreement we ever had. Seriously, give spring it's chance. You win. We give up. We don't want to play your games any more. We are over you 110%. We now spend our days cursing you, dreaming of warmer places, and want to punch anyone who even mentions you dropping more snow on us. We can't stand the sound of you not to mention we all are experiencing some serious vitamin d deficiencies and that is having serious effects on everyone.
Our youth are crying for warmed days where their track meets, golf meets, softball games, lacrosse games, and baseball games aren't cancelled because they can't find the fields. They are longing for good practices outside in beautiful green grass not dirty white snow. Our kids are remembering days spent on playgrounds and picnics outside and yet they can't remember anything other than your white snow. Our people are praying that the ice is off the lakes by fishing opener so that they can once again fill their freezers full of walleyes. People don't want to be ice fishing in mid-May, some lakes still have over 30 inches of ice on them and that will take some serious time to melt.
Please let the sunshine reign. Please go away, take your spring, summer, and fall vacation somewhere else, I hear Antarctica could use some more snow, or go freeze some more ice up by the north pole, go away from here. You are no longer welcome. Not to mention you are the laughing stock of all social media - people are claiming you are drunk and all sorts of things. I am trying to speak highly of you which is why I am telling you all of this to your face.
Give spring, summer, and fall their chances and by November next year we'll welcome you back with open arms (if you leave now) as we dream of days spent snow shoeing, cross country skiing, ice fishing, sledding, and days with hot chocolate and good books. Please go away. We beg of you.
At this point we are certain you can name your price and name what you want, we will probably happily give it to you just to send you on your way. You have had your glory days, we no longer doubt you or mock you, we know your strength and power, and bid you farewell with much respect and what little love for you we can muster.
Minnesota (and much of the rest of the Midwest)
p.s. This really isn't a request it is a demand. Please consider this your eviction notice effective immediately.