Dear Biological Mom,
I can't imagine the strength it took to separate from your child. I imagine it's the same strength and determination I see in your son as he is trying to take his first steps.
I wonder the roads you are walking and the steps you are taking. I pray for you. I pray that you have a support network to come alongside you and catch you when you fall, to encourage you when the road seems rough, to hold you up when you don't have the strength to do it on your own. I want you to succeed in reunification with you son. It is a gift to have him with us. We've surrounded him with our own village of people who love him, care for him, and have taken him in. He's in good hands. He's well loved.
I want you to know the ways in which the little guy snuggles in with his blanket and bottle as he closes his eyes at night. I want you to see the joy in his eyes as he chases balls around the house. I want you to know his adventurous spirit. I want you to be able to kiss his bumps and bruises as he explores and discovers the world around him. I want you to know the ways in which he loves food and his fierce shake of the head when he disagrees or is all done eating. I want you to kiss his sticky fingers and face at the end of the meal. I want you to be here for him. I want you to be the one he calls "mama."
For now I stand in your place, he looks to me as "mama." I kiss the sticky fingers, the bumps and bruises, and read books with lots of pictures. We play on the slide and he would let me push him for hours on the swing. My daughter introduces him as a brother.
I pray for you, each and every day. I pray you are able to do what you need to do to be with your son again. I grieve for the things you are missing and the things we see. We are rooting for you.
In the mean time, know we love your son. We are caring for him to the best of our ability and trying to document everything so we can tell you all about it if the chance were to arise.
Enjoy the hand and foot print art we sent you, may it remind you of the sweet little boy who is growing and changing every day.
It will be hard on our family if/when he goes back home to be with you. We will cry big tears, we will continue to pray for him and you each and every day. His story, your story, and our story is forever woven together no matter what the future holds.
Be bold mama and work hard, you've got this. I believe in you.
Love,
a foster mom caring for your son
Showing posts with label letter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label letter. Show all posts
Sunday, May 14, 2017
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
An Open Letter to Cancer
Dear Cancer,
You. Suck. End of the story. In case I had ever questioned it before I am not annoyed at you again. You and one of my best friends are waging quite the war, and I am here to tell you that you won't win in the end, yes, you may win a battle here or there and it may seem like you have a grasp. HOWEVER, I am here to tell you this right now - you won't win. I know you have met my dear friend, which should have you shaking in your boots, she is a fighter, she is tough, she is stronger that you are giving her credit for. She will fight you and I trust she will win. You suck.
This weekend I will get married and selfishly I am pissed because my dear friend won't be standing right next to me and enjoying all of the tomfoolery. YOU. SUCK. She is one hell of a fighter. Trust me. Know that she is stubborn as they come, and it is serving her well. The reality is, while I am a bit saddened that she is fighting you rather than enjoying the day (& selfishly hanging out with me), I know she is fighting you hard and I trust that she will stand by my side for years to come. While physically she will hopefully be in the pews and joining us however she can (still up in the air how it will work out), she will be in my heart and I in hers, her prayers will uphold me and support me, and my prayers and the prayers of so many shall surround her.
I am annoyed. CANCER, YOU SUCK. Get that message loud and clear. Get that message and buzz off, go infest rocks or lifeless things. Get out of people. Just so you know I am praying for a cure against you as are millions of other people, and our God is bigger than you. You create havoc in millions of lives each year, directly and indirectly. There is billions of dollars fighting against you and fervently working for a cure. There is a cure out there, I know it. I believe there will be a day when you are nothing more than a distant nightmare.
GO AWAY.
YOU SUCK.
Consider this your eviction notice from the world.
Sincerely,
Sarah
 |
| My Hartj at her wedding last summer. |
This weekend I will get married and selfishly I am pissed because my dear friend won't be standing right next to me and enjoying all of the tomfoolery. YOU. SUCK. She is one hell of a fighter. Trust me. Know that she is stubborn as they come, and it is serving her well. The reality is, while I am a bit saddened that she is fighting you rather than enjoying the day (& selfishly hanging out with me), I know she is fighting you hard and I trust that she will stand by my side for years to come. While physically she will hopefully be in the pews and joining us however she can (still up in the air how it will work out), she will be in my heart and I in hers, her prayers will uphold me and support me, and my prayers and the prayers of so many shall surround her.
I am annoyed. CANCER, YOU SUCK. Get that message loud and clear. Get that message and buzz off, go infest rocks or lifeless things. Get out of people. Just so you know I am praying for a cure against you as are millions of other people, and our God is bigger than you. You create havoc in millions of lives each year, directly and indirectly. There is billions of dollars fighting against you and fervently working for a cure. There is a cure out there, I know it. I believe there will be a day when you are nothing more than a distant nightmare.
GO AWAY.
YOU SUCK.
Consider this your eviction notice from the world.
Sincerely,
Sarah
Monday, June 3, 2013
An Open Letter to Graduating High School Seniors
Dear High School Class of 2013,
I am not going to lie here, there is a piece of me that is sad to see you graduating. You haven been transformed over your years at school much like the classes before you and the classes that are following you. You have grown up a ton (thanks be to God). You are fine people (despite what the world wants to tell you). You will make a difference in the world, you aren't just the future of the world but rather you are the world now, your role is very important. While at times it may seem like we adults don't want to acknowledge your presence and often think less of you than we should, we know you are gift and talented and we expect you to use those gifts and talents.
Do what you love. Love what you do. Serve the world. Serve others. Dare to dream and dare to think you could be wrong. Go on great adventures to far off places and come back home, to where ever that may be, share your story with the world, and learn from the world. YOU ARE IMPORTANT, YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE.
It has been an honor to watch you transform from just young kids into awkward middle schoolers (really who wasn't a strange middle schooler at some point), it has been quite the ride watching you go through breakups and athletic success, seeing you care for one another and your passions for the world. While your greatest concern once was what color crayon to use next, now you are on to conquer the world, you can do it. Your career may change once or twice or ten or twenty times, go where God calls you.
Thank you for the ways in which you have taught me about the world, thank you for the ways in which you have reminded me of the joy in the simple things, and thank you for being you. Thank you for being bold enough to step out in faith to trust that God has made you wonderful.
Welcome to the world of adulthood. Welcome to the world as crazy as it may seem. Welcome to life after high school. You will do awesome.
A blessing for you, one that I hold dear, from the summer camp that helped to form me into who I am today:
As you go on your way may Christ go with you, may he go:
before you to show you the way
behind you to encourage you
above you to watch over you
beside you to befriend you
and within you to give you peace.
Peace & Love-
an adult who values you highly
I am not going to lie here, there is a piece of me that is sad to see you graduating. You haven been transformed over your years at school much like the classes before you and the classes that are following you. You have grown up a ton (thanks be to God). You are fine people (despite what the world wants to tell you). You will make a difference in the world, you aren't just the future of the world but rather you are the world now, your role is very important. While at times it may seem like we adults don't want to acknowledge your presence and often think less of you than we should, we know you are gift and talented and we expect you to use those gifts and talents.
Do what you love. Love what you do. Serve the world. Serve others. Dare to dream and dare to think you could be wrong. Go on great adventures to far off places and come back home, to where ever that may be, share your story with the world, and learn from the world. YOU ARE IMPORTANT, YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE.
It has been an honor to watch you transform from just young kids into awkward middle schoolers (really who wasn't a strange middle schooler at some point), it has been quite the ride watching you go through breakups and athletic success, seeing you care for one another and your passions for the world. While your greatest concern once was what color crayon to use next, now you are on to conquer the world, you can do it. Your career may change once or twice or ten or twenty times, go where God calls you.
Thank you for the ways in which you have taught me about the world, thank you for the ways in which you have reminded me of the joy in the simple things, and thank you for being you. Thank you for being bold enough to step out in faith to trust that God has made you wonderful.
Welcome to the world of adulthood. Welcome to the world as crazy as it may seem. Welcome to life after high school. You will do awesome.
A blessing for you, one that I hold dear, from the summer camp that helped to form me into who I am today:
As you go on your way may Christ go with you, may he go:
before you to show you the way
behind you to encourage you
above you to watch over you
beside you to befriend you
and within you to give you peace.
Peace & Love-
an adult who values you highly
Thursday, May 23, 2013
An Open Letter in regards to road races
Dear Race Volunteers,
Thank you, thank you, thank you, YOU are an integral aspect of any road race. You make the race, and I seriously couldn't run the races I run without you. I am thankful for your cheers, your water/poweraid that you hand out, I am thankful that you stand at street intersections controlling traffic so I don't have to watch for cars or worry about being hit. Thank your for your willingness to get out of bed ridiculously early so that I can run. Thank you for the ways in which you encourage and inspire me. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for the ways in which you faithfully show up race after race. Thank you for sitting at medial tents for those who need it. Thank you for your enthusiasm. You make a race amazing.
Love, an appreciative runner
Dear Race Spectators,
Thank you for your willingness to come out and stand along the roadsides as we run along your streets. Thank you for sitting outside in the heat, the cold, and even the rain. Thank you for cheering me on, when most of the time you have no clue who I am. Thank you for your encouragement, it really matters and makes a difference. Thank you for your creative signs that make me giggle and chuckle as I run along the roads. Some of my favorites from this past race include:
Thank you, thank you, thank you, YOU are an integral aspect of any road race. You make the race, and I seriously couldn't run the races I run without you. I am thankful for your cheers, your water/poweraid that you hand out, I am thankful that you stand at street intersections controlling traffic so I don't have to watch for cars or worry about being hit. Thank your for your willingness to get out of bed ridiculously early so that I can run. Thank you for the ways in which you encourage and inspire me. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for the ways in which you faithfully show up race after race. Thank you for sitting at medial tents for those who need it. Thank you for your enthusiasm. You make a race amazing.
Love, an appreciative runner
Dear Race Spectators,
Thank you for your willingness to come out and stand along the roadsides as we run along your streets. Thank you for sitting outside in the heat, the cold, and even the rain. Thank you for cheering me on, when most of the time you have no clue who I am. Thank you for your encouragement, it really matters and makes a difference. Thank you for your creative signs that make me giggle and chuckle as I run along the roads. Some of my favorites from this past race include:
- I always appreciate the Grim Reaper standing at mile 11.5 with a sign that reads "the end is near"
- "less than 5% of all Americans will ever run a half marathon and less than 1% of Americans will ever run a full - congrats on being among this small group"
- I was surprised by these statistics
- "Left. Right. Repeat."
- "Go random stranger Go"
- "There is a Zombie behind you"
- "Pain is temporary, Pride is forever"
- "every step you take is one closer to the finish"
I am thankful for race spectators.
Love, an appreciative runner
Dear Race Organizers,
Thank you for your attention to detail. Thank you for your dedication and time you put into every event. Thank you for your leadership. Thank you for picking out amazing t-shirts and fabulous race bling. Thank you for the up to date communication and clear directions on what to expect and how things will go. Thank you for your ability to raise money for countless wonderful causes. Thank you for the ways in which you inspire health and fitness.
Love, an appreciative runner
Dear Cities across the nation,
Thank you for opening your arms and being hospitable to millions of road races across the globe. Thank you for moving your cars off of the street and allowing us to have closed roads to run on. Thank you for changing the way in which you get places while we run through your streets. Thank you for allowing people to put port-a-potties on your lawn so if nature calls we have an option. Thank you for letting us fill up your hotels and take over your towns for a couple of days. Thank you for showing us the beautiful places around your city and allowing us to run all over. Thank you mayors for the ways in which you welcome us to your cities.
Love, an appreciative runner
Dear family and friends,
Thank you for the ways in which you click "like" on facebook and instagram to show your support. Thank you for driving and sometimes even flying to come and watch me run. Thank you for the ways in which you ask questions and care about my most recent race. Thank you for checking to see how my legs are doing for days after a race and pretending to care about the toenail I am about to lose. Thank you for listening to the countless stories I tell about actual races and the crazy things I have seen while out training. Thanks for not minding about my sweat and stink when you give me a hug post race. Thank you for looking through the pictures and stopping to admire my medals that adorn my living room wall. Thank you for being willing to walk through every shoe store and letting me drool over shoes. Thanks for planning travel around amazing races! Thanks for your love and support.
Love, an appreciative runner
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Dear Winter
Hello Winter,
Yes, it is true we love you November through about mid-March, now that it is the end of April and you are continuing to drop snow on us, you annoy us! Yes, we know we live in the Midwest and that you do like to stay around for longer than we'd want but you have seriously broken every agreement we ever had. Seriously, give spring it's chance. You win. We give up. We don't want to play your games any more. We are over you 110%. We now spend our days cursing you, dreaming of warmer places, and want to punch anyone who even mentions you dropping more snow on us. We can't stand the sound of you not to mention we all are experiencing some serious vitamin d deficiencies and that is having serious effects on everyone.
Our youth are crying for warmed days where their track meets, golf meets, softball games, lacrosse games, and baseball games aren't cancelled because they can't find the fields. They are longing for good practices outside in beautiful green grass not dirty white snow. Our kids are remembering days spent on playgrounds and picnics outside and yet they can't remember anything other than your white snow. Our people are praying that the ice is off the lakes by fishing opener so that they can once again fill their freezers full of walleyes. People don't want to be ice fishing in mid-May, some lakes still have over 30 inches of ice on them and that will take some serious time to melt.
Please let the sunshine reign. Please go away, take your spring, summer, and fall vacation somewhere else, I hear Antarctica could use some more snow, or go freeze some more ice up by the north pole, go away from here. You are no longer welcome. Not to mention you are the laughing stock of all social media - people are claiming you are drunk and all sorts of things. I am trying to speak highly of you which is why I am telling you all of this to your face.
Give spring, summer, and fall their chances and by November next year we'll welcome you back with open arms (if you leave now) as we dream of days spent snow shoeing, cross country skiing, ice fishing, sledding, and days with hot chocolate and good books. Please go away. We beg of you.
At this point we are certain you can name your price and name what you want, we will probably happily give it to you just to send you on your way. You have had your glory days, we no longer doubt you or mock you, we know your strength and power, and bid you farewell with much respect and what little love for you we can muster.
Love,
Minnesota (and much of the rest of the Midwest)
p.s. This really isn't a request it is a demand. Please consider this your eviction notice effective immediately.
Yes, it is true we love you November through about mid-March, now that it is the end of April and you are continuing to drop snow on us, you annoy us! Yes, we know we live in the Midwest and that you do like to stay around for longer than we'd want but you have seriously broken every agreement we ever had. Seriously, give spring it's chance. You win. We give up. We don't want to play your games any more. We are over you 110%. We now spend our days cursing you, dreaming of warmer places, and want to punch anyone who even mentions you dropping more snow on us. We can't stand the sound of you not to mention we all are experiencing some serious vitamin d deficiencies and that is having serious effects on everyone.
Our youth are crying for warmed days where their track meets, golf meets, softball games, lacrosse games, and baseball games aren't cancelled because they can't find the fields. They are longing for good practices outside in beautiful green grass not dirty white snow. Our kids are remembering days spent on playgrounds and picnics outside and yet they can't remember anything other than your white snow. Our people are praying that the ice is off the lakes by fishing opener so that they can once again fill their freezers full of walleyes. People don't want to be ice fishing in mid-May, some lakes still have over 30 inches of ice on them and that will take some serious time to melt.
Please let the sunshine reign. Please go away, take your spring, summer, and fall vacation somewhere else, I hear Antarctica could use some more snow, or go freeze some more ice up by the north pole, go away from here. You are no longer welcome. Not to mention you are the laughing stock of all social media - people are claiming you are drunk and all sorts of things. I am trying to speak highly of you which is why I am telling you all of this to your face.
Give spring, summer, and fall their chances and by November next year we'll welcome you back with open arms (if you leave now) as we dream of days spent snow shoeing, cross country skiing, ice fishing, sledding, and days with hot chocolate and good books. Please go away. We beg of you.
At this point we are certain you can name your price and name what you want, we will probably happily give it to you just to send you on your way. You have had your glory days, we no longer doubt you or mock you, we know your strength and power, and bid you farewell with much respect and what little love for you we can muster.
Love,
Minnesota (and much of the rest of the Midwest)
p.s. This really isn't a request it is a demand. Please consider this your eviction notice effective immediately.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Spring PLEASE come
Dearest Spring,
While I have loved your predecessor Winter, I am more than ready for you to make your appearance. I know you have lots of work to do by melting the tracks of Winter, she conveniently just dropped about six inches on us last night and continues to drop snow on us today. I am sick of running on a treadmill and spending hours on the elliptical machine. I want to leave my car parked in the garage as much as I can and ride my bike to work, go for good long runs OUTSIDE without fear of falling flat on my face (twice last week when I attempted to run outside - note to self: still WAY icy outside don't be deceive). I want to go walk my dog and not have to put on my snow pants, boots, hats, mittens, long underwear, and my winter coat. I want to be able to go sit outside and throw the ball with her and enjoy it without my fingers falling off or losing Dakota's beloved orange ball in a snow bank somewhere.
Let me not forget that my dog is nearly going nuts, she sits in the bathtub almost nightly and BEGS for me to fill it with water so she can play in the water. Seriously, my dog is begging for baths just so she can play in the water. Please come, melt the snow and ice so we can be outside again for long periods of time. Push, shove, be mean if you have to, it would be great to see you around here.
Also please note that Winter's continual presence is having an effect on people around here, everyone is just a bit crabbier, a bit more cranky due to serious vitamin d inefficiencies, we need you to come and make your appearance. In fact, I am crabbier, I am more short tempered, I am frustrated by you, I am over you. 100% done with you and I would more than welcome spring. I do love winter, I do love snow, I don't love ice that causes me to fall flat on my face, I do love you too spring, PLEASE COME HERE.
My fitness level is not improving by you sticking around, I am trying to get in shape and I am trying to go for long runs but I can't lie to you and say that Winter is helping at all, in all reality the idea of another quarter mile on the treadmill makes me want to nearly cut my legs off. Please come and remedy my problems. I am over Winter, Spring please arrive now.
Love,
Dakota and Me
While I have loved your predecessor Winter, I am more than ready for you to make your appearance. I know you have lots of work to do by melting the tracks of Winter, she conveniently just dropped about six inches on us last night and continues to drop snow on us today. I am sick of running on a treadmill and spending hours on the elliptical machine. I want to leave my car parked in the garage as much as I can and ride my bike to work, go for good long runs OUTSIDE without fear of falling flat on my face (twice last week when I attempted to run outside - note to self: still WAY icy outside don't be deceive). I want to go walk my dog and not have to put on my snow pants, boots, hats, mittens, long underwear, and my winter coat. I want to be able to go sit outside and throw the ball with her and enjoy it without my fingers falling off or losing Dakota's beloved orange ball in a snow bank somewhere.
Let me not forget that my dog is nearly going nuts, she sits in the bathtub almost nightly and BEGS for me to fill it with water so she can play in the water. Seriously, my dog is begging for baths just so she can play in the water. Please come, melt the snow and ice so we can be outside again for long periods of time. Push, shove, be mean if you have to, it would be great to see you around here.
Also please note that Winter's continual presence is having an effect on people around here, everyone is just a bit crabbier, a bit more cranky due to serious vitamin d inefficiencies, we need you to come and make your appearance. In fact, I am crabbier, I am more short tempered, I am frustrated by you, I am over you. 100% done with you and I would more than welcome spring. I do love winter, I do love snow, I don't love ice that causes me to fall flat on my face, I do love you too spring, PLEASE COME HERE.
My fitness level is not improving by you sticking around, I am trying to get in shape and I am trying to go for long runs but I can't lie to you and say that Winter is helping at all, in all reality the idea of another quarter mile on the treadmill makes me want to nearly cut my legs off. Please come and remedy my problems. I am over Winter, Spring please arrive now.
Love,
Dakota and Me
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Letter
Dear big name satellite provider-
You annoy me. End story. I would love to end this sweet note there, however I feel like I need to express my opinions. I am going to leave you nameless on purpose as I am certain many people get great service from you or else you wouldn't still exist. I however am unhappy with you. I know you don't overly care, you don't really need my business. That's fine.
I am sorry that I wasn't willing to climb up a ladder to the second story of my house to check on my satellite, I don't think it would be safe given my ladder is way short and the roof could be icy. No I don't want to make one of your guys go up there, however I do know you have taller ladders, are trained, and have done this more than once. From what I can tell my satellite only has a small dusting of snow on it, no it is not snowing or raining or storming outside, yes I am 100% certain. I am also certain that my receiver is plugged in. I have restarted it several times, three times while on the phone with you, no that isn't working.
I wish you had a way for us to differentiate on the phone who has first attempted your online support and has already done all of the steps you so kindly lay out sot hat you don't have to walk me through them three or four times on the phone. I have already done them and I told you I have already done them.
If you admit that the problem is probably on your end I really don't want to pay nearly a hundred dollars to pay a technician to come out and check my equipment particularly when you repeatedly tell me it may not fix the problem and I still have to pay. Yes, I am willing to pay the $22.50 early termination fee so I can go with another company. You annoy me. I hate that you think I am dumb.
I also don't appreciate the 11 (yes I counted them) emails that you sent me in the 36 hours since cancelling my service. Seriously, I am not coming back to you for a while. If I do come back to you I will do a little research and make sure that I can see some improvements in what you are doing.
I am thankful that some people enjoy your service and stay with you because I am sure you employ lots of people, which is good. Thanks for what services you did provide, you did allow me to watch some of my favorite tv shows.
Peace-
Sarah
You annoy me. End story. I would love to end this sweet note there, however I feel like I need to express my opinions. I am going to leave you nameless on purpose as I am certain many people get great service from you or else you wouldn't still exist. I however am unhappy with you. I know you don't overly care, you don't really need my business. That's fine.
I am sorry that I wasn't willing to climb up a ladder to the second story of my house to check on my satellite, I don't think it would be safe given my ladder is way short and the roof could be icy. No I don't want to make one of your guys go up there, however I do know you have taller ladders, are trained, and have done this more than once. From what I can tell my satellite only has a small dusting of snow on it, no it is not snowing or raining or storming outside, yes I am 100% certain. I am also certain that my receiver is plugged in. I have restarted it several times, three times while on the phone with you, no that isn't working.
I wish you had a way for us to differentiate on the phone who has first attempted your online support and has already done all of the steps you so kindly lay out sot hat you don't have to walk me through them three or four times on the phone. I have already done them and I told you I have already done them.
If you admit that the problem is probably on your end I really don't want to pay nearly a hundred dollars to pay a technician to come out and check my equipment particularly when you repeatedly tell me it may not fix the problem and I still have to pay. Yes, I am willing to pay the $22.50 early termination fee so I can go with another company. You annoy me. I hate that you think I am dumb.
I also don't appreciate the 11 (yes I counted them) emails that you sent me in the 36 hours since cancelling my service. Seriously, I am not coming back to you for a while. If I do come back to you I will do a little research and make sure that I can see some improvements in what you are doing.
I am thankful that some people enjoy your service and stay with you because I am sure you employ lots of people, which is good. Thanks for what services you did provide, you did allow me to watch some of my favorite tv shows.
Peace-
Sarah
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Letter
Dear Cancer-
You have been particularly nasty this week, while I realize you don't really have a time that you aren't nasty and you are over the top present in this broken world, this week I find myself particularly upset with you. You suck and there is nothing I like about you. In fact I would even be so bold to say I hate you.
This week (I know you are active in claiming lives daily) you took one of my friend's mothers. A beautifully faithful, God honoring woman who served God with every ounce of her being. You ended her life far too soon. I hate the fact that you are unpredictable and that you don't care about age, race, gender, or any other factor. I hate that once you make your presence known you are always an aspect of life if even just a distant memory. You are a rough one to deal with, you don't play fair, you don't care what past anyone has or what the future may hold for them. You don't even seem to care how many times you have touched someone's family, you just show up what feels like time and time again. I hate you and I don't understand you. You have claimed the lives of many people who I love, I am frustrated with you to say the least.
Not only have you taken the life of my friend's mother (and thousands of others) you have made your mark on one of my most favorite people in the world. You suck. I wish I could take you out of her and put you in me instead, I hate that you are in her and knowing the road she has ahead. I hate knowing that she is in pain, I hate knowing what you have done to her, I hate the way you make me nervous. Unfortunately for you, she's a fighter and the medical team caught you early. You haven't been there long, and you won't last long. You will be beaten. You will go away (seriously, consider your eviction notice posted).
The really unfortunate thing for you is you don't have ultimate claim on her life, nor have you had the ultimate claim on the others whose lives you have ended far to short. You don't get the final word, you are not the ultimate reality. You aren't the one who wins in this world. I know you get credit for being all powerful and the one in charge, but here is the true story. I know and trust in a God who is bigger than you, I believe in the triune God who is the ultimate healer. While you may be the cause of some people's death you don't win, death never wins. I believe in God who has promised eternal life and life abundantly for all people. While people leave this earth, they are not gone forever, for this is but a fragment of what is to come. Someday, someday there will be a day when all pain is gone, when every crying tear is wiped away, and you don't exist. The God of creation is bigger and better than you, the God of peace continues to make all things new and comfort those in pain in the midst of your damage.
I suppose I do owe you a thank you for a couple things, since the news of my friend you have brought me to God in prayer more than I can even imagine. You have reminded me what it means to pray without ceasing, you have helped to remind me what and who is important in my life. You have reminded me to not take any day or even any second for granted for you could be just around the corner. You have reminded me the of awesome God I serve. You have caused me to slow down yet again and give thanks for all that I have. You still suck, these are not redeeming qualities of yours, but I choose to find a golden lining to all things, including you.
For all I care you can go away and never return, you can fall off the face of the earth and leave humanity (and all animals while you are at it), you aren't welcomed here. You won't have the final say, you won't be the victor in this world, while you will put up some good fights, and some may think that you have won, I know better, I trust in one who is greater than you, I trust in the creator of this world, the one who calls me to being, claims me, and bathes me in grace.
Sincerely,
Sarah
You have been particularly nasty this week, while I realize you don't really have a time that you aren't nasty and you are over the top present in this broken world, this week I find myself particularly upset with you. You suck and there is nothing I like about you. In fact I would even be so bold to say I hate you.
This week (I know you are active in claiming lives daily) you took one of my friend's mothers. A beautifully faithful, God honoring woman who served God with every ounce of her being. You ended her life far too soon. I hate the fact that you are unpredictable and that you don't care about age, race, gender, or any other factor. I hate that once you make your presence known you are always an aspect of life if even just a distant memory. You are a rough one to deal with, you don't play fair, you don't care what past anyone has or what the future may hold for them. You don't even seem to care how many times you have touched someone's family, you just show up what feels like time and time again. I hate you and I don't understand you. You have claimed the lives of many people who I love, I am frustrated with you to say the least.
Not only have you taken the life of my friend's mother (and thousands of others) you have made your mark on one of my most favorite people in the world. You suck. I wish I could take you out of her and put you in me instead, I hate that you are in her and knowing the road she has ahead. I hate knowing that she is in pain, I hate knowing what you have done to her, I hate the way you make me nervous. Unfortunately for you, she's a fighter and the medical team caught you early. You haven't been there long, and you won't last long. You will be beaten. You will go away (seriously, consider your eviction notice posted).
The really unfortunate thing for you is you don't have ultimate claim on her life, nor have you had the ultimate claim on the others whose lives you have ended far to short. You don't get the final word, you are not the ultimate reality. You aren't the one who wins in this world. I know you get credit for being all powerful and the one in charge, but here is the true story. I know and trust in a God who is bigger than you, I believe in the triune God who is the ultimate healer. While you may be the cause of some people's death you don't win, death never wins. I believe in God who has promised eternal life and life abundantly for all people. While people leave this earth, they are not gone forever, for this is but a fragment of what is to come. Someday, someday there will be a day when all pain is gone, when every crying tear is wiped away, and you don't exist. The God of creation is bigger and better than you, the God of peace continues to make all things new and comfort those in pain in the midst of your damage.
I suppose I do owe you a thank you for a couple things, since the news of my friend you have brought me to God in prayer more than I can even imagine. You have reminded me what it means to pray without ceasing, you have helped to remind me what and who is important in my life. You have reminded me to not take any day or even any second for granted for you could be just around the corner. You have reminded me the of awesome God I serve. You have caused me to slow down yet again and give thanks for all that I have. You still suck, these are not redeeming qualities of yours, but I choose to find a golden lining to all things, including you.
For all I care you can go away and never return, you can fall off the face of the earth and leave humanity (and all animals while you are at it), you aren't welcomed here. You won't have the final say, you won't be the victor in this world, while you will put up some good fights, and some may think that you have won, I know better, I trust in one who is greater than you, I trust in the creator of this world, the one who calls me to being, claims me, and bathes me in grace.
Sincerely,
Sarah
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Letter
Dear Swimming Lessons Parent,
Thank you for trusting me to teach your child to swim, he is a great kid for sure and I am enjoying my time with him. I know he is your oldest child and you haven't had kids in swimming lessons before, you are a great mom for putting him in swimming lessons. I truly believe all kids should learn to swim as it is a life saving skill. I know he one of your most priceless treasures and you are allowing me to take him into what has the potential of being a dangerous situation, but trust me, I've done this before, with the same honor you give me hundreds (after 13 years of teaching swimming lessons I may even be to the thousands by now) of other parents have trusted me with their most precious gift. I know you are nervous and so is your son, he feeds off of your nerves. I know he is very important to you, I recognize that, I also know that he is a beginning swimmer so I keep my eyes on him all of the time.
Please remember that you did enroll him in swimming lessons, so his swimming skills can advance, please don't hold him back, it isn't help for you to need to wipe his eyes every time I challenge him to blow bubbles in the water, or check if he needs to use the bathroom every other minute, he's old enough to tell you when he needs to go (and let's be honest, he wouldn't be the first or the last kid to pee in the pool). Yes, I know he won't be Michael Phelps when we are done with this eight week session however after three weeks I am already seeing his skills advance, trust me, pushing him a little to do things like: get his face wet, put his head underwater, blow bubbles, and float (with my assistance) won't ruin him for the rest of his life. Watch the way he smiles when he accomplishes a task, when he successfully puts his head all the way underwater he comes up in excitement with a smile going from ear to ear and says "did it, I did it, watch me again!" He is having fun, I am not pushing him too hard, he isn't crying, he'll be just fine if he gets water in his eyes and mouth, and while I think it's gross when kids pee in the pool, if he does it'll be just fine.
Please sit back and move away from the edge of the pool during swimming lessons, enjoy the benches that are there for you to sit on. Remember the conversations that we have had, remember we have talked about this several times already. Please snuggle your baby for a few moments knowing that your oldest won't be interrupting you. Or if you don't want to take the baby out of the car seat, enjoy a good book, relax, play in your iPhone, space out, dream, pray, hope, and while you enjoy a half hour without a four year old needing your undivided attention, trust me. If I need anything or he needs anything you are there, and I am thankful that you care enough to cheer on your kid, to enroll him in swimming lessons, to come and watch him, but please let me do my job.
Peace-
your son's swimming lessons instructor
Thank you for trusting me to teach your child to swim, he is a great kid for sure and I am enjoying my time with him. I know he is your oldest child and you haven't had kids in swimming lessons before, you are a great mom for putting him in swimming lessons. I truly believe all kids should learn to swim as it is a life saving skill. I know he one of your most priceless treasures and you are allowing me to take him into what has the potential of being a dangerous situation, but trust me, I've done this before, with the same honor you give me hundreds (after 13 years of teaching swimming lessons I may even be to the thousands by now) of other parents have trusted me with their most precious gift. I know you are nervous and so is your son, he feeds off of your nerves. I know he is very important to you, I recognize that, I also know that he is a beginning swimmer so I keep my eyes on him all of the time.
Please remember that you did enroll him in swimming lessons, so his swimming skills can advance, please don't hold him back, it isn't help for you to need to wipe his eyes every time I challenge him to blow bubbles in the water, or check if he needs to use the bathroom every other minute, he's old enough to tell you when he needs to go (and let's be honest, he wouldn't be the first or the last kid to pee in the pool). Yes, I know he won't be Michael Phelps when we are done with this eight week session however after three weeks I am already seeing his skills advance, trust me, pushing him a little to do things like: get his face wet, put his head underwater, blow bubbles, and float (with my assistance) won't ruin him for the rest of his life. Watch the way he smiles when he accomplishes a task, when he successfully puts his head all the way underwater he comes up in excitement with a smile going from ear to ear and says "did it, I did it, watch me again!" He is having fun, I am not pushing him too hard, he isn't crying, he'll be just fine if he gets water in his eyes and mouth, and while I think it's gross when kids pee in the pool, if he does it'll be just fine.
Please sit back and move away from the edge of the pool during swimming lessons, enjoy the benches that are there for you to sit on. Remember the conversations that we have had, remember we have talked about this several times already. Please snuggle your baby for a few moments knowing that your oldest won't be interrupting you. Or if you don't want to take the baby out of the car seat, enjoy a good book, relax, play in your iPhone, space out, dream, pray, hope, and while you enjoy a half hour without a four year old needing your undivided attention, trust me. If I need anything or he needs anything you are there, and I am thankful that you care enough to cheer on your kid, to enroll him in swimming lessons, to come and watch him, but please let me do my job.
Peace-
your son's swimming lessons instructor
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Sick
Dear sickness invading my body,
You have had your four days and I am over you, okay so I am clearly not over you as I still feel like crap. I have tried going to the doctor (which for me is a huge step) and they say you are viral and there is nothing I can do other than let my body battle you. I am annoyed with you. My throat hurts and my nose is like a faucet. I am taking vitamin c to combat you as well as drinking far more water than I can fathom. Yesterday I tried to flush you out with over 150 ounces of water. Leave me alone.
Truth be told what annoys me more than being sick is the training you are screwing up. Do you know that I am running a half marathon on the 20th? While I am thankful you didn't show up over that weekend, I am still over the top annoyed. I can't make up for the training lost or the miles I wish I had run. I can't make up for wanting to get in one more super hard long run and you screwed it up. Three-fourths of the way through you make me incapable of finishing what I had started, I was coughing and my throat stinging. You annoy me. GO AWAY and do not come back, you aren't welcome.
When you leave please also don't go to anyone else. So far you have stayed away from my fiance (which I am not certain how as he as sat on the couch next to me as I coughed and coughed and coughed, not to mention he leans over and kisses me goodnight when he is leaving each night) please continue to do so. I need to keep training, I need to keep running, I need to be able to talk on the phone to run and not sound like I do. So please please please, leave me alone.
Love,
Me
You have had your four days and I am over you, okay so I am clearly not over you as I still feel like crap. I have tried going to the doctor (which for me is a huge step) and they say you are viral and there is nothing I can do other than let my body battle you. I am annoyed with you. My throat hurts and my nose is like a faucet. I am taking vitamin c to combat you as well as drinking far more water than I can fathom. Yesterday I tried to flush you out with over 150 ounces of water. Leave me alone.
Truth be told what annoys me more than being sick is the training you are screwing up. Do you know that I am running a half marathon on the 20th? While I am thankful you didn't show up over that weekend, I am still over the top annoyed. I can't make up for the training lost or the miles I wish I had run. I can't make up for wanting to get in one more super hard long run and you screwed it up. Three-fourths of the way through you make me incapable of finishing what I had started, I was coughing and my throat stinging. You annoy me. GO AWAY and do not come back, you aren't welcome.
When you leave please also don't go to anyone else. So far you have stayed away from my fiance (which I am not certain how as he as sat on the couch next to me as I coughed and coughed and coughed, not to mention he leans over and kisses me goodnight when he is leaving each night) please continue to do so. I need to keep training, I need to keep running, I need to be able to talk on the phone to run and not sound like I do. So please please please, leave me alone.
Love,
Me
Friday, September 7, 2012
A note to the man shared the road with me today
Dear middle-aged man driving a old dodge ram,
Yes, you are 100% correct I could hear every comment you were saying to me as you drove along nice and slow beside me for just over a mile. Yes, you are correct that I was ignoring you. I chose not to respond to you because I knew I didn't want to say something I would later regret and saying nothing seemed like the best option. Sorry if I offended you in the midst of ignoring your, what I felt like, rude comments. You frustrated me.
Yes, it is true that I will never be a Sports Illustrated bikini model, nor do I ever dream of it. I actually am in a call that I love, I get to walk alongside people in a wide variety of life situations and speak grace, truth, and hope, and share the story of a triune God who created all people and created us diverse and different. I am thankful for our creative God who calls me and showers me in grace and love and in my baptismal waters am claimed. I am sorry that you don't know this message of hope, truth, unconditional love, and salvation.
Yes, it is true that I won't ever win a gold medal running. Yes, I know I run a little slow. Yes, I know I have a long ways to go, but each step I take is moving me toward my goals. Yes, I am sure you do have six pack abs and you could see my belly jiggle as I ran. It's okay, I am working on it. Although I would love to tell you the story of all the amazing food that I choose to eat and share with friends and family. I enjoy food, yes, I am working on watching my portion size and eating more fruits and veggies, however I do still enjoy many foods that aren't healthy for me. While I love running I also run so I can eat foods I love, like ice cream, chocolate, and pasta.
Yes, it is true that I am running with my dog and you think that my hair flying all over the place makes you think we look alike. I was hot and sweaty and have zero care that my hear has fly aways going every which way at mile six. In fact I am proud that my hair looked like crap and was filled with sweat and dust from the road, I was thankful that I was able to make the hardest steps - walking over to my shoes, putting them on, and getting out the door.
Yes, I know I was wearing tall socks which are out of fashion and my bright orange gym shorts from college and a blue shirt, I know it didn't match and that tall socks are out of fashion when wearing shorts. All morning I have been working on my laundry because it has been a crazy week, although I wouldn't change my week so that I could look good while out for a run. Instead of doing my laundry earlier this week I chose to: watch a sixth, seventh, eighth, freshmen, jv, and varsity volleyball game one night, teach swimming lessons, attend worship, go for two other runs, play with my dog, hang out with my fiance, and write a few letters to friends who I miss.
Yes, I know that you think I am wasting my time because I won't ever run "worth crap" - I am sorry you feel that way. I actually really love running and running for the fun of it and the feeling I have during and after a good run. I also love the excitement of my sweet puppy every time I get my running shoes out and we hit the road, I love the way her tail wags faster than I ever thought possible and I love the way that she motivates me to keep running. I love running with her.
I pray that whatever frustrations or internal struggle you are having is resolved and that you feel better after verbally harassing me today while I ran. I pray you meet someone who shares with you the story of grace and love of God who made you too, and loves you too even thought that may seem like a crazy idea at the moment. I pray you come to a place in life when you don't need to say harsh comments to random people you pass on the road, I pray you become and encourager to the world and use all that time and energy you waste saying rude things to serve the world. I pray that you learn the love of a God who created you and become one who shares that message with the world.
Sorry I couldn't come up with the words to say to you while I was out for a run and you out for an early afternoon drive, I wish I had a way to share this message with you. Since I am not optimistic that our paths will cross again, I pray someone will share a message of grace and love with you. I am sorry I ignored you but I couldn't say anything that would be kind in the moment, so I chose to say nothing. If we meet again, I pray for the strength to not think harshly about you and rather remember that you too were created by the triune God and you too are a beloved child of God.
Peace to you-
a broken, beloved, sinful, and redeemed child of God just like you
Yes, you are 100% correct I could hear every comment you were saying to me as you drove along nice and slow beside me for just over a mile. Yes, you are correct that I was ignoring you. I chose not to respond to you because I knew I didn't want to say something I would later regret and saying nothing seemed like the best option. Sorry if I offended you in the midst of ignoring your, what I felt like, rude comments. You frustrated me.
Yes, it is true that I will never be a Sports Illustrated bikini model, nor do I ever dream of it. I actually am in a call that I love, I get to walk alongside people in a wide variety of life situations and speak grace, truth, and hope, and share the story of a triune God who created all people and created us diverse and different. I am thankful for our creative God who calls me and showers me in grace and love and in my baptismal waters am claimed. I am sorry that you don't know this message of hope, truth, unconditional love, and salvation.
Yes, it is true that I won't ever win a gold medal running. Yes, I know I run a little slow. Yes, I know I have a long ways to go, but each step I take is moving me toward my goals. Yes, I am sure you do have six pack abs and you could see my belly jiggle as I ran. It's okay, I am working on it. Although I would love to tell you the story of all the amazing food that I choose to eat and share with friends and family. I enjoy food, yes, I am working on watching my portion size and eating more fruits and veggies, however I do still enjoy many foods that aren't healthy for me. While I love running I also run so I can eat foods I love, like ice cream, chocolate, and pasta.
Yes, it is true that I am running with my dog and you think that my hair flying all over the place makes you think we look alike. I was hot and sweaty and have zero care that my hear has fly aways going every which way at mile six. In fact I am proud that my hair looked like crap and was filled with sweat and dust from the road, I was thankful that I was able to make the hardest steps - walking over to my shoes, putting them on, and getting out the door.
Yes, I know I was wearing tall socks which are out of fashion and my bright orange gym shorts from college and a blue shirt, I know it didn't match and that tall socks are out of fashion when wearing shorts. All morning I have been working on my laundry because it has been a crazy week, although I wouldn't change my week so that I could look good while out for a run. Instead of doing my laundry earlier this week I chose to: watch a sixth, seventh, eighth, freshmen, jv, and varsity volleyball game one night, teach swimming lessons, attend worship, go for two other runs, play with my dog, hang out with my fiance, and write a few letters to friends who I miss.
Yes, I know that you think I am wasting my time because I won't ever run "worth crap" - I am sorry you feel that way. I actually really love running and running for the fun of it and the feeling I have during and after a good run. I also love the excitement of my sweet puppy every time I get my running shoes out and we hit the road, I love the way her tail wags faster than I ever thought possible and I love the way that she motivates me to keep running. I love running with her.
I pray that whatever frustrations or internal struggle you are having is resolved and that you feel better after verbally harassing me today while I ran. I pray you meet someone who shares with you the story of grace and love of God who made you too, and loves you too even thought that may seem like a crazy idea at the moment. I pray you come to a place in life when you don't need to say harsh comments to random people you pass on the road, I pray you become and encourager to the world and use all that time and energy you waste saying rude things to serve the world. I pray that you learn the love of a God who created you and become one who shares that message with the world.
Sorry I couldn't come up with the words to say to you while I was out for a run and you out for an early afternoon drive, I wish I had a way to share this message with you. Since I am not optimistic that our paths will cross again, I pray someone will share a message of grace and love with you. I am sorry I ignored you but I couldn't say anything that would be kind in the moment, so I chose to say nothing. If we meet again, I pray for the strength to not think harshly about you and rather remember that you too were created by the triune God and you too are a beloved child of God.
Peace to you-
a broken, beloved, sinful, and redeemed child of God just like you
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